Defining and living your values

Think about the great people you admire.  What about these people make them so great – in your eyes and – in the eyes of the world?

Think about the worst people you know.  Don’t spend too much time in their world, especially the more empathic of you, but just touch on why you think they do what it is that you dislike so much.

Now think about this…both groups have very strong values.  Oh yes, even the worst of actions by the worst of people are driven by values.  Just not yours.  Here’s the thing about values, and why they are so beneficial in terms of driving alignment – we all have them.  The key is to find those who share a sufficient overlap that we can find congruence, shared enjoyment and support, but not so much that we aren’t challenged and have an opportunity to test our values.

So, how to go about defining your values?  Well, since you’re reading this – you’ve already begun!  Now, you may well have already at least a notion of what your values are.  That’s good, we’ll develop and test those a little later and in other articles in this series. 

The first provocation in this article where you considered the great and the terrible people, is a step along the journey.  The next is to list what you think those people’s values are, focusing on those individuals who stand out the most as aligning with you and the way you do things at your best.

Another way to go about this initial list construction is to internalise the analysis, rather than externalising to the influencers you’ve been considering.  Reflect on questions related to your life and career so far, such as;

• What have my greatest successes been?
• What have my biggest mistakes been?
• Who have I most inspired?
• Who have I most let down?

Think about the factors which caused these instances.  What led to those great successes or inspirational interventions?  Why did you fail and let people down?  Are there clear instances of things that you do, that you felt or knew were right that lead to your successes?  And of course, the opposite for the learning opportunities!  

Reflect on this quote for a moment;

“Your beliefs become your thoughts, your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, your actions become your habits, your habits become your values…” Gandhi.

So, one further way to establish your values, is to consider how you view certain events, interactions and people. What do you think about these things? How do you vocalise your view? What actions have you taken, or would you like to have taken? What actions do you consistently take when faced with a comparable opportunity or challenge? Can you identify some new value traits there that aren’t on your list as yet?

Once your list is shaping up, as a reference point you could go to a standard list of values such as this, and see how the terms you’ve selected sit in line with what’s cited, and whether there are others which align as well, or better fit the sense you have of what you’re describing. You can also go through a grouping exercise such as the one lower down the page in the link above, or a more involved process such as this free assessment to further explore your values and test them in a detailed process.

Once you’ve defined a list, try it out.  Share it with those closest to you, who know you best and you trust to give you honest feedback.  Ask them if they agree with your list.  Ask them if they get a sense of your values in the experience they have living and working with you.  Do they agree with everything you’ve put on your list?  Would they change any?  Would they add any?

Next it’s time to take your values out into the world, starting with where you spend the majority of your influencing time – at work.  But before we finish today, and head out into the world of work, let’s just come back to that quote that I invited you to reflect on earlier.  I intentionally didn’t include the final portion… in full, what Gandhi said was;

“Your beliefs become your thoughts, your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, your actions become your habits, you habits become your values, your values become your destiny”.

To me it is clear, your values take you where you want to go.  Define them, test them, stick to them, and get to exactly where you want to be, with those that want to be there with you.

More to follow as I continue in this series…next we look at the comparison of your values and the values of those you work for and with.